The first thing I did was call the doctor who sent me to get a mammogram and ultrasound of my breast. The appointment was set for Monday and it was Friday. While on the phone I kept asking the nurse if I should be worried and of course her answer was “there’s not much to say until you do the scan.” Great, the worst thing you can give a person like me is too much time and no answers because my mind never ever quiets down. When I got off the phone I sat and stared at my breast and just started sobbing and it wasnt even because I was scared it was because for the first time in my life I felt helpless and I didnt know where to get the strength I needed to keep moving. My life is busy and I do not have the luxury of becoming paralyzed by fear. So I did what I always do when I’m upset or stressed I obsessivley cleaned and organized which is perfect in a house full of boys because by the time I’m done cleaning it usually needs to be cleaned again. I tried to think positive but I was terrified in the past few months my cousin’s mother died of cancer and my aunt is currently battling it and both times it started with breast cancer – I keep repeating to myself it’s nothing because it simply has to be nothing it just has to be.
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